The Week's Inanity, Starring Ric Flair, Rielle Hunter, and Brad Panovich
I missed a lot while I was gone on my honeymoon (NOTE: Charlotteans really like Sandals resorts). While I was out, apparently Charlotte City Council had this conversation with the citizenry:
So now we don’t get a streetcar? IT LOOKED LIKE SO MUCH FUN. Dang, dang, dang went my heartstrings.
Bring Back The Buzz To The Caribbean: Also on my honeymoon, my new wife and I ate at a nice French restaurant at our resort in St. Lucia. One of the waiters was from Bordeaux. He stopped by our table and asked where we live. I told him. “Ah! Charlotte Hornets!” he said, without missing a beat. ARE YOU LISTENING, MICHAEL JORDAN?
Jesus. You have the right to remain silent.
An auction company in Charlotte is now your source for all Kenny Rogers news.
Flawed premise #1: You went to Cosmos to ask where to find the best barbecue. That’s like going to the bus station to ask about Maseratis.
Democratic National Cluster: The DNC moved its Labor Day party from Charlotte Motor Speedway to uptown Charlotte, citing logistics.
- Reaction 1: “Traffic around the speedway just breezes right along during big events!” -Nobody
- Reaction 2: Great. Bruton Smith is probably feeling slighted. Now we’re going to have to name something ELSE after him.
- Reaction 3: If you’re really running short on money, like everybody’s saying, you can probably get this guy to perform this song for cheap.
Charlotte’s Near A Lot: The Huffington Post discovers Charlotte’s best tourist attraction: Its proximity to Charleston, Atlanta and Hilton Head.
A law firm in Charlotte has written the sexiest book since Fifty Shades of Grey.
Gotta Beat The Man: How can you tell when Ric Flair’s in trouble? When a story about him contains the words “Richard Morgan Fleihr.”
Rielle Hunter’s Skill Set: She can identify Charlotte Observer political reporter Jim Morrill just by glimpsing the top of his head.
Charlotte’s Solution to Everything: Add more lanes.
We Are All Journalists: How to report on this weekend’s 100+ degree heat wave:
1. Walk outside.
2. Look at thermometer (or iPhone, if no thermometer is handy).
3. Say how hot it is.
5. Wait for Brad Panovich to retweet you.
Photo credit: (c) dbvirago / www.fotosearch.com Stock Photography