A New Age

While working on this issue, we found that many women in Charlotte share a common sentiment. We didn't have to look far to find someone to articulate those views. Charlotte magazine senior account executive Christyn Reid discusses what it's like being a thirty-something woman here and dating

As told to Jarvis Holliday

Christyn Reid discusses what it’s like being a thirty-something woman here and dating.

I'm thirty-three and I have a great job and a lot of great friends. But I find myself in a different place than a lot of my girlfriends. Most of them are married now with kids.

I've often wondered where do I go to meet a good guy? In the past, I've tried the bar scene and the guys I've typically been attracted to have been players—they've been noncommittal, no matter their age. And, unfortunately, the ones who've wanted commitment have not been a fit for me. Charlotte is filled with beautiful women. Go out anywhere and they're everywhere. But I think it's a lot harder to find great guys. You know, the total package. Sometimes I feel like it's slim pickings.  

Charlotte in my mind, though I think it's changing now more than ever, is very family oriented. Go to Just Fresh on East Boulevard and you'll see the happy mothers with their strollers.

Sometimes when you're a single girl in your thirties you see this and you feel really left out. You can't figure out, like, where did they meet their significant others? I think that's a struggle. But I've noticed because a lot of single people are moving here, they're really changing the dating scene in Charlotte.

Three years ago, if you would've met me at thirty, I was sad, I was crying, I thought there was something wrong with me because I was single. Now I can honestly tell you that I've found my own happiness in being single. I'm more independent, I'm confident. And, most importantly, I don't want to settle. Forget Jerry Maguire. A guy doesn't complete me. He should complement me. And that was a hard lesson to learn. But I figured out that you can't embrace where you want to be. Instead, embrace where you are right now.

Second Opinion

Tara Staten, a thirty-one-year-old chiropractor, chimes in about being single

I think Charlotte is hit or miss. You can go somewhere and there'll be a slew of guys with potential. Then you'll go somewhere else and there won't be any. I've been living here for almost five years and I've only dated two people where there was a potential for it to become more.
Most of my friends are married with children. Only a couple of them are single. I, of course, want to get married, but I'm happy to be single until I find the right person. People are always asking me, "How come you're still single?" They don't understand that when they ask you that, sometimes it gets to you because you're already thinking it.

A lot of people say I'm too picky, but I don't think I am. People often think they can get married in their twenties, and even if things aren't okay they'll just be okay. But I feel you have to have your ducks in a row.