Blogger for a Day: This is ground control to Major Vladimir
Or how I learned to stop worrying and love these comics.
My name is Sean Keenan. I’ve been stumbling around the Charlotte comedy community for the last 20 years, and I’m your guest blogger for today. I’ve been assured that I can write about anything I want, which I feel is a serious editorial mistake. So today, I’d like to talk to you about my secret, special love: the Russian space program.
Unlike the American space program, the Russians didn’t really care about the “sanctity” of human life, and they’d shoot Russian farm boys into space with all the safety and security of a poorly managed mobile carnival ride. No one is certain just how many people died during the program, but last estimates are in the three-figure range. This number includes the amount of Russian bureaucrats that were responsible for the program’s failures. If Pietrov didn’t come home, neither did you.
In my not-so-humble opinion, the best thing about being a cosmonaut was a town called Astro City. Going to be launched into space? Your shipmates would live in a city specifically built by the USSR so you could hang out with like-minded individuals. If you’re Yuri Gagarin, this was the only place you could train with your fellow cosmonauts and bad mouth the United States while waiting for your eventual death. Call me a Pinko, but I think… Okay, have the sheep stopped reading? Great.
I would really like to talk about the comedy scene in Charlotte. I knew that if I went right into it, it wouldn’t be nearly as special. I would like to introduce you to three honest to Pancakes (I’m an atheist) funny stand-up comics.
Derek Blackmon: He just opened for Hannibal Burress at the Comedy Zone last week. I don’t know how he did during that show because I didn’t see it, but Hannibal Burress is one of the best club comics in the country, and The Comedy Zone chose Derek to open. He’s a low key, whip funny comic, and in the rarest of rare, he’s also a great guy off stage. That’s as rare as a Romney bumper sticker on the back of a Prius. Follow him on Twitter @derekblackmon.
Chesney Goodson: I love a guy that swings for the fences. I’ve seen him turn a completely dead room into a loud audience, and no one gets madder at themselves when a joke doesn’t hit. He’s a big dude, so he’s got the kind of voice you want to listen to, and because he’s a black dude, he can say things to a crowd of people that some comics can’t say. He’s way beyond the “White People talk on their cell phones like this” routines, and when he gets onstage, something is going to happen. Follow him at Facebook.com/chesney.goodson
Bruce Bellile: He looks like an accountant that other accountants make fun of for looking too much like an accountant, but he's damn funny. Comics think he's just another guy who thought it would be neat to be a comic, (And the previously mentioned fact that he very much looks like an accountant) and then win a crowd over with his natural ease. Follow him on Twitter @bbellile.
These are very, very good comedians. If you do not support them by showing up to their shows, they will leave Charlotte. Too many good local guys have moved to Atlanta and New York, and they moved because of you. So stop saying there’s nothing good to do in this town. You haven’t seen these guys perform.
Editor's note: In a moment of weakness we decided to turn the Revue blog over to Sean and let him do with it whatever he wished. He has not disappointed.