Famous Adjacent: Please Don't Make Me Move to Atlanta, Gov. McCrory

Hey, Governor Pat.

Love your work. I've always been a big fan of guys who look like their face hurts every time they smile. And in a pinch, I also get my hair cut at Supercuts. But the reason I'm writing you today is to pick your brain about  North Carolina's film incentive package. You probably already know this, but productions receive a 25 percent refundable tax credit based on their direct in-state spending on goods, services, labor and other costs. What you probably don't know is that I work in film production. And ever since North Carolina implemented these incentives, I've seen a marked increase in not just work, but quality work.

I don't mean to brag Pat, but in the last few years I've worked on the Emmy award winning series Homeland, the film The Hunger Games, and Cinemax's Banshee, just to name a few. All of these productions wouldn't have been shot in North Carolina if not for the film incentives. It's been great. A few of my friends even worked on Iron Man 3, Pat! Freaking Iron Man!!! Can you believe that?

I've heard there might be a chance you're getting rid of these incentives, and that's a big mistake. I know from afar, the film incentives look ridiculous. Why give tax breaks to already wealthy, pinko commie, cultural elitists who do drugs and walk around our state like they own the damn place? The answer is: everyone else is making money too.

Local restaurants and hotels get a big boost, but specifically, people like me continue to work. Unlike you, Pat. I'm not rich. But I make a damned good living doing a job some people would do for free. Not me mind you, but other people might.

If you get rid of these film incentives, thousands of people like me will be out of work. And that means we'll end up having to move to New Orleans or Atlanta. Which in turn means we'll be selling our homes, and moving our tax dollars out of the state that's been left in your charge. I don't want to move to Atlanta, Pat. It's horrible.

The traffic alone makes me hate the town, not mention Falcons fans. (Matty Ice is terrible on the road! Why can't they see that?!) And I could go on and on about my feelings for New Orleans, but people I know would cut me bad. They'd cut me, Pat! Does that sort of reaction seem normal to you? I don't want to leave North Carolina and nor do the thousands of people employed in your state. So when it comes time to decide what you'll do about the film incentives, do the right thing. Keep the film incentives and watch your state turn into a land of filmmaking wonder and enchantment.

Your new best friend,
Sean Keenan

Editor's note: Pat McCrory's recently released budget does include film incentives but the state legislature has not voted on any of his proposed measures.

Categories: Arts + Culture, Revue