Dealing with bridal party drama
If you find yourself in the midst of dealing with an uncooperative bridesmaid or uncaring MOH, you're not alone. Put any group of girls into a prolonged group setting and you're bound to have a bit of drama. It can be frustrating to try and wrangle 'maids into carrying out duties when you have enough planning tasks on your own plate. Many brides will eventually hit their breaking point and begin to question whether or not a certain member should be a part of their day anymore. Wedding planning makes even the most level-headed bride more tense than usual, so it's no surprise that stress-handling skills fray in the process. Nonetheless, let's rewind to the pre-stress, post-proposal bliss…
Take A Step Back. Think back to when you summoned each friend to be a bridesmaid. You did so for a reason. List out all the reasons you asked the friend who is not fulfilling her role the way you'd like. Is she an important family member? A lifelong but long-distance friend? In compiling a list of reasons, it will help you become clear-minded about the situation.
Talk, Don't Text. If you feel as though there's a monomental issue in her handling of the role as MOH or bridesmaid, arrange a meeting to talk face-to-face or, at the very least, on the phone. It's all too easy to send rash messages of frustration in a hurtful manner when it's typed over impersonal text or email. Think before you speak and do it in a personal way.
Give Her The Out. In your conversation, turn the tables graciously and give her an easy out. Ask her what her thoughts are on the situation rather than be accusatory. Sometimes an apathetic bridesmaid who refuses to attend a dress fitting is simply looking for a way out. Ask her if she still has time to do the necessary tasks. The key here is ask, don't accuse.
Webster's Lesson. In the dictionary (and book of bridal etiquette) you'll find that the role of bridesmaid and MOH is honorary–meaning not contingent upon completing tasks. Your MOH does not have to help you with every last detail, and not every bridesmaid will attend every event. If you find yourself wishing you had designated the 'maid who has been by your side through every appointment and mini planning disaster instead of your current MOH, the only acceptable option is to enlist the bridesmaid as secondary MOH. As for bridesmaids, save the extreme situation, it's simply not appropriate to fire a bridesmaid. The friendship, for one, will be ruined, and you chose your bridal party thoughtfully and for a reason. You must stick with your decisions and keep your focus on what matters. Little things will work themselves out.