The Week's Inanity: October 12: Race Weekend Special

The Bank of America 500 is Saturday night, which means you can bundle up, find your seat at the speedway, and watch the whole thing on the giant 200’ x 80’ HD video screen, just like you watch races at home (for free). Occasionally, you can catch a glimpse of the cars going around the track as you lower your gaze from the video screen to your smartphone.

Dale Jr. is out for this weekend’s race. Concussion. So you might as well just break camp now.

Five years ago, I went to the fall race at the track. I wrote about it. Oddly enough, not much has changed. People love Dale. They hate Jeff Gordon. One guy had a thing for Clint Bowyer. I discovered Jingle Jugs. And I left early.

I was also in the stands for the fall race in 2005, which was the year when the track surface had been ground down and nearly every driver went slip-sliding into the wall. Dale Jr. wrecked. And everybody gasped. And then Jeff Gordon wrecked. And everybody cheered, except for the guy next to me who arrived at the speedway with a bucket full of canned beer and ice, and he shouted “Nooo!” and then left. Right in the middle of the race. The whole episode proved one bedrock NASCAR fact to me: Jeff Gordon has one fan, and it’s that guy.

One more Jeff Gordon note: He’ll breakdance if he wins. Remember race fans, this is also the guy who promised to re-grow his mustache.)

Also, you know it’s race week when people are riding in elevators with tires.

Someone hit a deer on the John Belk Freeway this week.

Jeff A. Taylor trolls Cam Newton’s new Belk clothing line: Banished to Cobb County, Georgia, the former purveyor of The Meck Deck blog now drops bombs on Charlotte from afar:

 

 

I don’t have any kids. I didn’t know what a transvaginal wand was. But thanks to this political ad…

If I had a dirty mind, I’d think this was a dirty headline.

What’s it gonna take for Charlotte Family Housing to put you into a brand new (used) car today?

Bev! You are still dangerous. But you can be my wingman anytime.

First we were a banking center. Then we said we were an energy hub. Now Charlotte is a FroYo nexus.

The lowest point in Charlotte is at the bottom of this pit. Internet, if you could photoshop the Millenium Falcon flying into it, I’d love you forever.
 

Categories: The Buzz, Trade & Tryon