Time Out Youth Provides A Sense of Home — Sometimes A Literal One

The organization provides an extended family to young LGBTQ people

It’s been awhile since I’ve been to church, but I know communion when I see it. To me, it looks like this: Last November, about 70 young people, ages 13 to 24, arrived for Friendsgiving dinner at Time Out Youth, a center for LGBTQ youth in East Charlotte. Tables were filled with all the essentials: turkey, ham, sweet potatoes, mac and cheese, homemade rolls, and big floral centerpieces.

The cooks who prepared this feast came from one of Charlotte’s biggest churches, Christ Episcopal. After they served dinner, church members—gay and straight, old and young—chatted and ate with the Time Out Youth guests, united by celebration and carbs. Like I said: communion.

If you, like me, find this mix a little surprising—a big, traditional church and a small LBGTQ youth center—then Laura Konitzer, the church’s outreach director, hopes we reconsider. Christ Episcopal has a proud history of allyship, where sexual orientation and gender identity don’t affect someone’s ability to join, get married, or give a sermon. 

“This is what can happen,” Laura says. “The conversations were beautiful, and the kids felt loved. It was just really special.” 

Like Laura, Sarah Mikhail isn’t surprised by this mix, either. Time Out Youth’s CEO has a contact list of about 1,000 volunteers from all over Charlotte. They come from corporate groups, local families, and church congregations, all with the goal of helping these young people feel loved. 

“We are supported by so many affirming churches in Charlotte,” Sarah says. “I can think of five right now that come in with their time and energy to support Time Out Youth.”

This work isn’t about politics but community—a simple belief that when young people need support, caring adults should offer it. Last year, 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide, according to The Trevor Project, a national nonprofit focused on suicide prevention for LGBTQ kids and teens. Those who felt supported by family had rates less than half that. 

Time Out Youth offers a supportive, family-like atmosphere. Its building has a cozy living room with books and video games, and a back patio with a grill and fire pit. On Friday nights, volunteers prepare big family dinners. During drop-in evenings, young people simply hang out in a place that feels like a second home. “For some, it may be the first time they’re around other LGBTQ people,” Sarah says. “It’s a place to just breathe.”

For those who don’t have a first home, the organization helps with that, too. “Housing is impossible, and housing is getting worse and worse for everyone here,” Sarah says. “Our work there is ramping up every year.”

LGBTQ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than their non-LGBTQ peers, according to a 2018 University of Chicago study. The study also found that 26% of homeless LGBTQ youth were forced from home by their families due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. For those who start their adult lives with little or no family support, Time Out Youth steps in. The organization can help them find affordable apartments, pay rent or a down payment, or provide the clothes needed to start a job.

“Systems fail many people, but my heart is with youth,” Sarah says. “I think it’s easier to look at young people and say, ‘Oh, you didn’t have a family that helped you, or you didn’t have a family that saw you for who you are, so of course it’s a little bit harder to do things.’”

Time Out Youth is a Charlotte institution that’s served local kids for 33 years. It’s the only LGBTQ-focused youth organization in the city and one of few in the Southeast. It’s also a lean organization, with a 15-person staff that serves more than 1,600 people in the area each year. Beyond housing assistance, they also offer mental health therapy, support groups, professional development, and arts programs. “We couldn’t do this without our allies and community,” Sarah says.

The Friendsgiving dinner did stir up a problem at Christ Episcopal. Too many members volunteered to help, and the kitchen couldn’t fit them all. As a solution, the church offered to host family dinners at Time Out Youth throughout the year to give everyone a chance to serve.

“That night, we put hope into action and love into action,” Laura says. “I believe that that’s what we are all called to do as human beings: We should be caring for each other.”

JEN TOTA McGIVNEY is a writer in Charlotte and author of the upcoming book, Find Your Walden: How to Strive Less, Simplify More, and Embrace What Matters Most.