Travel From CLT: Branson, Missouri

One of my kids likes fast roller coasters, and the other doesn’t (yet). Both have fun when we visit Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri. My older daughter adds one, and only one, big coaster every time we go there. I think of our trips there as pencil lines on a door frame—only they represent chutzpah instead of vertical growth. She may be playing a long con and holding off on other rides just to force me to take her back, again and again. If so, I’m playing a reverse long con by letting her con me. I love Silver Dollar City, and I’d keep taking her even if she never got off the kiddie rides.

Silver Dollar City, an 1880s-themed amusement park, lacks the name recognition of Disney World and Six Flags, but it’s better than both—in rides, food, entertainment, over-the-top-ness, everything. Outlaw Run, one of the fastest wooden coasters in the world, starts with a 162-foot, 81-degree drop, maxes out at 68 mph, and clocks in at 1 minute, 27 seconds of pure adrenaline. The cars in Time Traveler spin as they turn you upside down three times at 50 mph. Powder Keg shoots you from zero to 53 mph in 2.8 seconds and eventually reaches 64 with negative Gs.

The Time Traveler, a roller coaster with cars that spin as you spiral along at 50 mph. Dramamine recommended. Courtesy

If you think the rides are excessive, you should see the midway—especially in winter, when more than 6.5 million Christmas lights shine on 680 miles of string and illuminate 1,000 Christmas trees, 600 wreaths, and more than three miles of garland and ribbon. Subtle this place is not.

Branson’s history starts with a hole in the ground—the Marvel Cave. It opened to tourists in 1894, and in the 1950s, the Herschend family built Silver Dollar City on top of it to give customers something to do before their descent. Soon, the village, with a blacksmith, general store, and street theater, was more popular than the cave. As the legend goes, owners gave out silver dollars to customers, thinking they’d take the coins home, spend them, and talk about where they got them. You can still visit the cave, but now the “village” is a theme park. 

The Cathedral Room at limestone Marvel Cave, Branson’s first tourist attraction, which opened in 1894. Courtesy, Silver Dollar City Parks & Resorts

Around the same time Silver Dollar City opened, local families began to establish theaters and produce shows in Branson. The earliest were country music variety shows and productions of Harold Bell Wright’s 1907 novel, The Shepherd of the Hills, set in Branson. Eventually, the theaters began to draw national acts, including Andy Williams, the Osmond Brothers, Yakov Smirnoff, and The Oak Ridge Boys. 

Branson announces itself long before you arrive, perhaps because the town of about 13,000 senses it needs to. It’s in the Ozarks, in an isolated corner of southwest Missouri; the nearest big cities—Tulsa, Oklahoma; Kansas City, Missouri; and Little Rock, Arkansas—are all three-plus hours away. U.S. Highway 65 takes you 50 miles from Springfield-Branson National Airport to Branson, and the roadside bombards you with approximately 75 million billboards that advertise the town’s attractions. (As if you’d have another reason to drive south on 65 toward Branson.) Based solely on the drive, here’s what a newcomer might expect: a tribute band for every popular musician from Elvis on; enough magicians that guests get assigned one when they check into their hotels; and Dolly Parton herself on hand at any of the multiple self-proclaimed Branson welcome centers.

That said—and this will sound weird—Branson shares attributes with Charlotte. 

Branson, geographically and culturally, incorporates several regions of the country, so it’s a salad of accents: As in Charlotte, you often hear flat Midwestern, nasal Northeastern, and drawling Southern in the same conversation. Both offer plenty of opportunities for outdoor recreation, including top-notch golf courses. And, even though Branson manifests it in a different way, you can’t miss the faith life here—in the shows, in the culturally conservative ethic, in how crazy Silver Dollar City goes for Christmas—even amid the hokey schtick.

But the similarities go only so far. Charlotte is a shiny New South city built on banking and endless new homes for all the people who move here. Branson is like Hooters found God and became a city. 

Not far from Branson are Wonders of Wildlife National Museum & Aquarium. Courtesy, Visit Springfield

PLAY

I love honest guides. My fishing guide, Jim, shrugged when, at first, I got skunked trying to pull trout out of the streams at 10,000-acre Dogwood Canyon Nature Park. Eventually I landed several big rainbows, and Jim shrugged again. He couldn’t explain either outcome and didn’t try to BS me that he could. Dogwood Canyon is worth a visit even if the fish aren’t biting: You can also hike, bike, and ride horses. 

Table Rock Lake, created by a dam on the White River, is popular for small and largemouth bass—and for just hanging out. It also offers pontoon boating, water skiing, and swimming. 

To avoid the water (you hope), you can ply a pair of popular and first-rate golf courses nearby. Payne’s Valley Golf Course is named for Payne Stewart, the late World Golf Hall of Fame member and an Ozarks native. The course was designed by Tiger Woods’ firm, TGR Design. Ozarks National meanders over more than 7,000 yards of rolling terrain. 

Wonders of Wildlife National Museum & Aquarium in Springfield, 45 miles north, hosts more than 800 species of wildlife, 35,000 animals, and a 1.5 million-gallon aquarium spread across 350,000 square feet.

STAY

Branson has a range of places to stay, from campgrounds to cheap motels to luxurious resorts. Big Cedar Lodge, owned by Bass Pro Shops founder Johnny Morris, is renowned as one of the top outdoor-themed resorts in the country. When I visit, I stay in a 675-square-foot cabin with a walk-in shower, a couch I need a crane to get out of, and a beautiful view of the rolling, wooded hills of southwest Missouri.

If you visit Branson with a group, check out the lodges, villas, and other accommodations at WaterMill Cove Resort. They’re close enough to Silver Dollar City to zip back and forth and big enough to give you space after spending all day together.

Big Cedar Lodge, one of the country’s top outdoor-themed resorts, offers spectacular views of Table Rock Lake and the Ozarks’ rolling terrain. Courtesy

If it’s just your family, check out Chateau on the Lake. My uncommonly dark and quiet room yielded extraordinary nights of sleep even with two kids whacked out on amusement park adrenaline in the same room. Table Rock Lake unfolds below you, its watery fingers flicking into hilly Ozark forests, creating crevices to explore.

EAT 

The stone hearth, metal chandeliers, and various animal heads on the walls give Devil’s Pool at Big Cedar Lodge an
exclusive hunting-club vibe. The menu offers fresh rainbow trout, presumably just like the ones I didn’t catch. They have deep-fried ravioli, too, a regional “delicacy.” The reason to try and pass are the same: It’s ground beef tucked into ravioli, deep-fried, and served as an appetizer. 

The Keeter Center on the campus of College of the Ozarks offers a Sunday brunch buffet that tastes remarkably home-cooked considering its size. Some menu items are grown and prepared by students. The Thanksgiving version is particularly strong: You have to make reservations months in advance.

Lambert’s Café is worth a visit for the atmosphere. It’s organized chaos, and servers duck and weave as they carry “pass arounds” (fried okra, black-eyed peas, fried potatoes). Your kids (and maybe you) will “love” that the waitstaff throws rolls from across the room. Raise your hand, and seconds later, a roll will whiz toward it; try to catch it before it splashes into your soup.

Courtesy, Seymour Off-Road Rentals

The Off-Road Taken

On my most recent trip to the Branson area, I arrived at Southern Missouri Off-Road Ranch on a brisk fall morning. It’s a privately owned system of trails for off-road vehicles in Seymour, Missouri, an hour’s drive northeast.

I had rented a side-by-side from Seymour Off-Road Rentals, and owners Dave Washburn and Erek Van Riessen agreed to show me around. I jumped in the driver’s seat, gently nudged the throttle and—too much!—lurched out of the parking lot and toward a trail.

I turned into the woods and descended a rocky path that twisted right and left and up and down. All the while, Washburn and Van Riessen filled my ears with essential information for both my driving and my story. I stopped in the middle of a rocky creek and told Van Riessen: You drive this thing, because I’m physically and mentally overwhelmed.

With Van Riessen behind the wheel, we zipped along at what felt like top speed but wasn’t. “You’re going 40, and it feels like you’re on fire,” he said.

“We don’t want to scare you to death,” Washburn said. “We want to scare you to life.”