Diamond in The Rough

What to do when you hate the engagement ring

He's on one knee, your heart skips 100 beats, he retrieves a small box from his pocket and asks the question you've always wanted to hear. The declaration of profound love is an all-consuming moment that will forever be etched in your memory, all other details aside. No grand wedding, princess gown or fairytale honeymoon will ever top the simple fact of a promise and beginning of a life to be spent with your best friend and soul mate. But, let's say, after the butterflies subside, you have a small sinking feeling about the ring. Maybe it's your least favorite pear shape, or maybe it's the family heirloom that should have remained forever locked in the safe. Whatever the circumstance, it's hard to shake the feeling of unsatisfaction when it comes to an engagement ring. So what to do? First off, don't jump the gun. This is an instance for treading lightly. So here are my words of wisdom on how to handle things like a lady. 

Sizing Up The Issue

What is it about the ring you dislike? Is it simply a smaller version of what you'd hoped for? The time, consideration and funds that go into getting an engagement ring and putting himself out there to ask you to his forever… these things cannot be discounted. Not every budget will allow for a skating rink on your finger. Asking for a larger version of the same setting will likely be offensive, as he most likely chose according to his budget. If you're not set on a diamond for your stone, you could possibly broach the subject by suggesting an alternative stone that could be larger in size for the same price. Bottom line: keep your focus its significance. Diamonds are lost from settings, prongs break, rings are lost–love will last forever. Consider these things, and you'll likely end up loving your ring like you love your now fiancé: just the way it is. 

Honesty First

Ultimately, if the setting or center stone shape are in discord with your own personal taste, it's important to be upfront with him. After all, communication is key in any relationship. After you've expressed your utmost excitement at the meaning behind the ring, explain that the style doesn't feel in keeping with your personality. Ask him to go with you together and choose another ring *of the same or lower price. It's simply never appropriate to ask for a more expensive ring. Make sure to emphasize the 'going together' part. The second time around. When you make clear his input is still important, it lessens the blow to his ego that the ring he picked wasn't quite right. 

Family Matters

Heirlooms are tricky. It may be the tackiest ring in the world, but at the end of the day, he may have been the chosen one to pass down that ring. Ultimately though, rings are pieces put together. Again tread lightly here and, after you have the conversation with your fiancé, it will be important and courteous to do the same with his family. Once you've confessed your feelings to all parties involved in the ring's significance, it is easy enough to work with a local jeweler to have certain elements of the ring built into a new one. This way, you're keeping part of its original integrity and sentimental value, and simply reshaping it to feel better fit to you. 

 

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Categories: Bride + Groom