Jenn v. Sarah: Golden Globes Round Up

Sarah: So, confession: I didn’t watch all of the Golden Globes because I was busy watching Wake Forest dominate UNC in basketball.
Jenn: It’s okay. I didn’t even realize they were on. I was too busy obsessing over Jack Bauer and the return of 24. But, I figured it doesn’t matter that I missed it because it’s the photos of the dresses in the morning that really matter anyway.
Sarah: Absolutely. And, after endlessly pouring over those, I have to say that hands down my favorite dress of the night—I’m a little embarassed to say this—was Miley Cyrus’ Marchesa gown.
Jenn: You might be shocked to hear this – but I am totally okay with your pick. I think it was charming, age appropriate, memorable, classy, and a completely perfect amount of California cool.
Sarah: I am shocked to hear that. So, what about you? Who wins Jenn’s stamp
of approval?
Jenn: I don’t know that I can give anyone a 100% A+ grade. I was happy to see Tina Fey embrace the fact that she is totally hot by rockin’ that daring neckline, I loved Drew Barrymore’s sex kitten fluffy bob hairdo, I thought Anne Hathaway was eye catching and creamy skinned as always, and that shade of blue was gorgeous, and the red dress on Eva
Longoria, oh though I loathe her, was a stunner.
Jenn: I was MUCH more convinced of who I HATED.
Sarah: Oh good. Let’s talk about that. This should be fun.
Jenn: I HATED Heidi Klum’s weird stomach growth rose and dominatrix shoes. I HATED Renee Zellweger’s salute to Bridget Jones (which is what I have to imagine that dress was… the formal version of the see through top she wears to entice Daniel Cleaver). I HATED Jenna Fischer’s strange Laura Ashley inspired print gown. She is such a lovely lovely girl and her picture was by far the most dowdy of the bunch because the color and print were just deplorable. I HATED Cameron Diaz’s ill fitting pink prom gown that looks like it was the result of a “How fast can you drape a dress” contest on Project Runway. And, I was sadly underwhelmed by my girl Kate Winslet. I am thrilled that she won a pair of globes, but the dress she was wearing did nothing for her “globes”. Kate darling, we recently saw you stark
naked in Vanity Fair. We know what you are workin’ with under there. Why would you hide it behind a stodgy black gown?
Sarah: I’m with you on Heidi and Renee. I wanted to like Heidi’s because I kept thinking “she’s being edgy,” but I just couldn’t. I would like to explain to Renee that sheer and matronly don’t work well together in clothing. As for Jenna, as you might imagine, I enjoyed the boho aspect of it. Kind of reminded me of something Kate Hudson would wear.
Jenn: Except Jenna isn’t Kate. Jenna should have been wearing something more like Christina Applegate or Eva Mendes dress. Who I thought both looked lovely, but not exciting enough to comment on.
Sarah: Yeah, but we can all dream right? I’m not Blake Lively, but every day I strive to be Serena van der Woodsen. Which brings me to Blake Lively actually. Why was her dress two sizes too small?
Jenn: I don’t know but it made made me itch and ache just thinking about it. Isn’t that the point of a stylist? To not allow that sort of nonsense to occur?
Sarah: I have to wonder if in Hollywood they just don’t create dresses over a size double zero and poor Blake must be pushing a two.
Jenn: If you’ve got a diva on your hands, then you rip the tag out and sew in the size 00 tag yourself, but you don’t let the girl go out there like that. She’s SERENA. I am sure a designer could secretly let out a few seams in a sample size to fit her. And then I weep over the fact that we are talking about her like she’s huge.
Sarah: Yeah. I’d sell my soul for her body. Anyway, speaking of people who shouldn’t be wearing that. What was Jennifer Lopez doing?
Jenn: Pouting at the camera like her life depended on it?
Sarah: Maybe pouting because she was terrified she was actually going to fall
out of that dress?
Jenn: Perhaps she is trying out looks for her eventual Vegas act. Gold Lame Draped About Me Like I am a Golden Goddess!
Sarah: I felt like there were a lot of dresses that looked very prom/bridesmaid/Jessica McClintock.
Jenn: Agreed. And of those, I thought (ugh, it really kills me to say this) Eva Longoria’s was the best. I am not counting Anne Hathaway. Her’s was obviously a more couture look.
Sarah: One look that should have looked like a bridesmaid dress gone bad, but I thought was stunning, was Olivia Wilde’s Reem Acra gown. It’s not easy to pull off ruched lavender, but she totally nailed it.
Jenn: It’s not my thing, but I agree, it could have gone very very bad and she pulled it off. If you could own one dress whose would it be?
Sarah: You’re going to hate me…Cameron Diaz’s pink dress.
Jenn: You crazy girl. Will you at least get it tailored into something resembling an actual
Sarah: I’ll consider it. But would have a hard time tampering with Chanel.
Jenn: Chanel Scmanel. It was messy. BTW, so was Amy Adam’s hair.
Sarah: Yeah. Hair is a whole other discussion from last night. Cameron’s hair was actually painful to look at. So what about you? What do you want in your closet?
Jenn: I’d love to think I have the guts to pull off Tina Fey’s black dress, but I had a talk with the “girls” and they don’t really feel “up” to the task. So, I am going to have to give it to Eva Longoria. I feel like I would never get tired of turning heads in that red dress.
Jenn: I never thought I’d hear the day you wanted something of Eva’s.
Sarah: Ok, so before we wrap this up. I have to bring up Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress. Was that leopard? Ew, seriously. What was it?
Jenn: It was gross. She should have worn the dress that she wears in the party scene in Dark Knight. She’s a lovely girl, but she only hits it dead on for me about 25% of the time. Usually I like it when she wears something that really shows off her long, languid, lanky body… not
the stuff that is “look at me I am a quirky indie film actress” inspired. Like the ridiculous spotted thing she wore last night.
Sarah: Agreed.
Jenn: Please, Sarah. promise me you won’t hold this Eva Longoria thing over my head for two long. It really really kills me.
Sarah: You were understanding about Miley. So I’ll let it go. But just this once. If you do this for the Oscars I’ll know we have a problem.